On my way to work the other day, I noticed a woman with her child in a wheelchair as they entered a buidling.  At that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder why.   It is what some may call a bad habit of mine.  But I can’t help it.

During my life, there have been many times in which this question has plagued me.  Normally when I pose this aloud, I am reminded that we will never know the answers to the mysteries of the life.  One day though, I received an answer from where I least expected it…my husband.

I remember that day like it was yesterday.  We were on the phone discussing the struggles we faced with our daughter’s sensory processing disorder.  In the middle of the conversation I posed that question.  Why?  Instead of getting an I don’t know, my husband said, “Because he knew you would fight for her.”  Wait…what?  He continued to explain that if she had anyone else as a mother, she would not have received the early intervention she needed.  “He knew that you would continue to ask why and fight for that answer.  He picked you for her and her for you.”  He was right, even though it pains me to say that.

What does this have to do with eating artificially free food?  Eating healthy, whole foods gets challenging for each and everyone of us.  This doesn’t even take into account the challenges life throws our way.  And sometimes, we can’t help but ask that looming question.  Why?  Why is this happening to me?  Why am I doing this?  Or maybe why should I continue to do this? 

I have always believed (and still do) everything happens for a reason.  So when the wonderment of why surrounds us remember that there is a reason for this moment, for this journey just like the mother with her child.  We may not always see it or understand it, but the answer begins with us.  We, my friends, are the reason why.

While watching TV after our girls had gone to bed, we heard a thunk thunk, thunk thunk.  It sounded just like the noise your washing machine makes when you fill it too full and it has too many clothes on one side during the spin cycle.  I pretended not to hear it until he turned to me and said, “Do you have a load in the washing machine?”  Apparently, I overload the machine too much.  With a sigh, I said no.

I knew exactly what the noise was…tomatoes!  I got up and peaked into my oldest daughter’s bedroom.  There she was banging her legs against the wall.  Yup, tomatoes!  We had just re-introduced them into our diet a few days prior.  Within days, she was having troubles sleeping, the wiggles were back and her outdoor voice welcomed itself back indoors.  TOMATOES!

How could such a healthy fruit (we will debate whether it is truly a fruit or vegetable later) have such a big impact on my little girl?  I was not ready to give up on them quite yet.  How could I know if it really was the tomatoes?  Maybe it was just a delayed reaction to daylight savings time?  Yes, I know that was several weeks ago.  But a girl can dream, can’t she?

Well, there was only one way to find out.  We would have to bid them adieu and that is just what we did.  This probably would have answered our question, except for one teensy weensy problem.  I decided to re-introduce the grape in the meantime.  I know, “What are you thinking Susan!” 

In my defense, hindsight is always 20/20.  Yes, knowing she was having a reaction to salicylates in one fruit, probably meant we should not have reintroduced any new foods for awhile.  Okay, that is exactly what it meant, but we just wanted to eat something other than a pear, banana or pineapple.  Can you honestly blame me? 

Needless to say this decision wiped out almost two months of hard work in one short week.  I had to come to grips with my own denial and quickly.  It was then I was reminded of something a friend always says, “No one said this was going to be easy , but they also didn’t say it would be this hard!”  And with that, we said our farewells to stage two foods.  It will not be easy, but in the end it will be worth all the hard work.

Everyone starts the Feingold program for a reason and behind every reason is a story.  My story began almost nine years ago, when our oldest daughter was born.

She has always walked to the beat of her own drum.  Something I love and admire.  It was also something that made her a mystery to me.  You see as all my friend’s children slept, mine did not.  And I mean, literally did not.  Their children maintained regular schedules.  Despite my best efforts, mine not so much.  We read all the same books.  We were using all the same techniques.  What could I possibly be doing wrong?  Well, everything.

At two, our beautiful baby girl was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).   In short, her brain cannot process and react to all the senses coming in at once.  So all those Super Nanny techniques for raising a child, were all wrong for this one.  Once she was overloaded, you simply had to wait out the storm.  Something that has forced me as a parent to grow thicker skin.

I have been slapped across the face, spit at, scratched, screamed at (need I go on) during the middle of a breakdown while in stores with her.  We have had to take her out crying and screaming from public events because something triggered her.  All while those around us stared wondering, “Why can’t those people control their child.”  Or my favorite, “All that child needs is a little old fashioned discipline.”  You may be thinking to yourself that I can’t possibly know this.  But I do, because some people unfortunately think out loud.

Criticism and misunderstanding lurked around every corner and finally my husband and I decided staying home was much easier.  In time and with the help of an occupational therapist, we began to learn when a trigger was going to occur and prevent it.  Sometimes, we weren’t so lucky.  Nonetheless, she was our daughter and we loved her exactly the way she was, whether the world understood her or not.

When she began school, we were not prepared for the education system.  See we were accustom to all the sensory triggers in her current environment, we never took into account the new ones she would have at school.  Nor did we take into account the lack of education teachers receive on things like sensory processing disorder.  And once again, the chaos began.

It was during this time, the Feingold program was shared with us by a parent liason at her school.  I still remember going to their website and reading all about it.  It was just that we were working so hard at trying to adjust her to this new environment and then with her diagnosis of dyslexia that Feingold fell by the wayside.  Until now that is. 

Feingold is the next piece of our puzzle, of our story.  It has given us another tool to give our daughter an opportunity to succeed in this world.  The one wish every parent has for their child.

Through it all, one thing amazes me most.  Nine years ago when I gave birth to this beautiful baby girl, I thought about all the lessons I would teach her.  I envisioned all the journeys I would share with her.  The truth of the matter is she has taught me more about life, about mankind, about myself.  She has taken me on this amazing journey.  One, I could never have imagined. 

That…that is our reason, our story of why and how we became a part of the Feingold family.

My oldest wanted to know why whenever I have a bad day or am frustrated, it all disappears when I go into the kitchen.  Simple.  It is my happy place.

I grew up in a kitchen, my grandmother’s actually.  As a chef, she instilled her love of cooking even at a young age.  I still remember playing on floor with empty pots and pans as she created morsel masterpieces from above.  As I got older priorities changed, but the seed was already planted.  And now I am going back to my roots…cooking school.

Last night I cooked my first meal from class, Chicken Saltimbocca.  I must admit, I was a bit nervous.  But, it turned out great!  Not that I ever had any doubts.  Okay…maybe a few.  It was then that I realized why I needed to go back to school.  It isn’t that my techniques are bad.  Although they can use some work.  It was to gain that confidence my grandmother had.

We may not be able to eat most things in the middle of a grocery store or go to most restaurants.  But what we can do is plant that seed, the love of good food and cooking for generations to come.  Because once that seed is planted, it lives forever.  So, be fearless in your kitchens, you will be amazed at what you can do.

My husband and I just returned from a trip to Sin City where we were tempted by its decadent eats.  We vowed we would not cheat…intentionally that is.

Each and every menu was like pulling the lever of a slot machine.  You placed your bet and hoped it paid off in the end.  The odds seemed stacked against us at times.  Like the time we chose the spinach artichoke dip.  As the waiter set the plate down, we both looked at each other and laughed.  The plate was full of red and green tortilla chips.  Of all the things we were expecting, that was not one of them. 

We won big in several restaurants like Wolfgang Puck’s Bar & Grill.  Our craving for pizza was satiated by a wood oven pizza with roasted mushrooms, asparagus, leeks, thyme and taleggio cheese.   No tomatos anywhere.  Insert the sound of a slot machine that has just hit the jackpot!  Then there was Mario Batali’s B&B Ristorante.  Not only did they accomodate our dietary requests, they served us a seven course taste of heaven.

Although we were surrounded by temptation, we realized some times, we will win big.  Other times, we may lose.  In the end, we will continue to the food odds.

A wise woman once shared one of her favorite sayings with me.  It went like this. “Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.” The play on words always makes me giggle, but it also holds so much truth.

Those who know me well, know that I am a planner.  I have a list for just about anything.  Going camping.  I have a list for that.  Throwing a party.  Have a list for that too.  Heading up to the cottage for a day, night or weekend.  You guessed it.  There is a list, a list and a list. We won’t even get into the detailed plans that went into our 2010 Disney trip.  My plans are my safety nets.  Without them, I don’t know that I could have taken on this new lifestyle.

Well, last week life decided to throw me a curve ball.  My oldest daughter became quite ill.  Between work, doctor appointments, school, more doctor appointments and other commitments, the first thing to go out the window was grocery shopping.  The second was the meal plan.

Now normally when this happens, 1-800-PapaJohns is there to help.  But unfortunately, they are not an acceptable food on the Feingold food list.  And with the plan out the window, it was flexibility or crankiness.  With my daughter so miserable, I opted for flexibility and revised the plan.

We worked with what we had and I am proud to say we survived without a blemish to our food eating record.  This is partially credited to the fully stocked pantry and freezer I have maintained for those just in case moments.  But, it also proved that even though this isn’t always the easiest of lifestyles, it is obtainable.  So next time life gives you lemons, make homemade lemonade.  It is an acceptable food on the list.

Over the past week, I have realized how truly blessed my family is, especially me. Lately I have been reading many stories of those who have chosen the Feingold path before us and was shocked.

You see when we decided to start this journey, I knew anything was possible if we (my husband, two daughters and me) were all in it together.  And from the get go, they were, especially my husband.  Without asking he read the program materials.  He asks questions and even double checks while shopping.  We agree as a team if we choose to make an exception or not. It isn’t about him or even me.  It is about us, our little family.

I must admit his devotion did surprise me a bit.  But what touched me even more was the geniune support outside of ‘us’. Our school and daycare have helped us stay on track.  One teacher even waited to do a classroom project until she knew she had an acceptable substitute for Fruit Loop necklaces.  Our family has not chastised our decision, but instead embraces it.  And our friends, well, there is a reason they are our friends.  They have stood by our side a bit intrigued but always supportive.

Don’t get me wrong there is always someone, in everyone’s life, who makes it challenging.  Luckily for us, those people are not a part of our village.  And if they were, we might, just might have to vote them off our island.

So I tip my hat in gratitude to my husband, children, family and friends for their love, support and encouragement.  And to my new Feingold family… if you do not have the same circle of strength around you, we welcome you with open arms into our family.  Together we can do this and give our children and ourselves a second chance at greatness.

Although our family loves Valentine’s Day (which is evident from the amount of cards adorning our mantel), today we are celebrating something a little different.  This day marks our two week anniversary on the Feingold Diet.  For those of you who are just joining us, the Feingold Diet eliminates all artificial colors, flavors and sweetners or as I like to call it, artificial goodness.

You may be thinking to yourself, a two week celebration Susan?  Really?  A bit premature don’t you think?  Maybe.  Let’s be honest, we have tried to eat healthier before and it has always faded after a month.  But this time it is different.

When we chose to eat healthier in the past, it was something my husband and I decided.  Sort of reminds me of one of my mom’s favorite sayings, “Because I am your mother, that’s why.”  (Sorry Mom!)  With Feingold, it was a family decision.  We all piled our hands one on top of the other and said “Go Team!”  (Yes, we actually did that.)  We all agreed to give up some of our favorites.  My children gave up candy on Valentine’s Day.  (Girls you rock!)  I gave up my two favorites, Polka Dot and Pepsi.  My husband gave up coffee.

Even though it is only two weeks later, today we celebrate the small victories.  The caffiene headaches are finally gone.  Yeah!!!  (No really, yeah!)  We don’t hear, “Mom, I am hungry” like we did before we started.  We all sleep a bit better.  But the most remarkable change is our children have found their indoor voices.  (Yes, prayers do come true!)

The past two weeks have proven that we can do anything if we do it as a family.  I can’t wait to find out what the next two weeks will bring.